And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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