SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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