she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
