I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
