At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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