eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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