At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
