i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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