I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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