How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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