that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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