singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
