OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
