we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
