And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He better not be in your backpack
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
