It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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