I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
