Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
