DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
