omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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