I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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