Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
