your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she was so not down for the gang bang
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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