I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
