I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
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