When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
