You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
