ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
