I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
