i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
