Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
