I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
