There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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