she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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