the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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