im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
