Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
