her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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