I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
