Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
