I wish I could punch you in the face.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
