I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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