I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Two words: nipple clamps
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