Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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