I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I understand Curling. That high.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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