There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
