Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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