Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
