tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
