Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
