Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
another moral hangover. fuck.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So much rum. So many feels.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
