OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Houston, we have a squirter
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
