Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
