Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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