i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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