Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
