If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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