we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
