new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
