Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
